Still a dick... I'm addicted to you...

4 down, 1 to go. My last final is tomorrow, and I think I'm literally gonna jump for joy when its over. I really can't wait to start my winter break. Christmas is coming up.. then we enter a new decade with New Year's 2010, and then I turn 20 on Jan. 10! And then off to Rome! Woo!! Things are actually really exciting for me now that I think about it. I just had a final.. I finished it in like 20 minutes, no joke. I was stressing it all night and it wasn't even that bad. Well, this was just a cameo... I'll be happy to post a full length one once finals are over. Later

F.I.N.A.L.S. (Fuck, I Never Actually Learned this Shit!)

So I had my first final today. I don't think it went too well, mainly because the prof. pulled some questions out his ass about things he didn't even tell us would be on the test -_-. I swear, that professor was horrible. I learned more studying independently than actually in class. And in class I learned more about his cat than anything else. Once again, -_-!!! Now I'm studying for my sociology final... I think I'm gonna do well on that one. I just need to read about 30 more of the almost 100 pages i had to read for the final... yeah, I know, "DAMN!". But this stuff really interests me so I think I'll be ok. I'm not that nervous about Speech, Sociology, or Theories of Personality... I'm just worried about math. I need to go over the notes a few more times before I wont be nervous about it. Conveniently, it's my last test. I just read 20 pages for sociology... I figured I needed a break, so here I am, breaking. Break yo'self, fool! Break me off a piece of that Kit Kat bar! Breaking Benjamin.

So exactly one month from today, I'll be embarking on my trip to Europolis. I get a little more excited every day about it. Well, I think it's time to hit the ol' dusty trail... See you guys later

...

Shit.

Back For More

Hey dudes.... I'm basically doing the same thing I was doing earlier int he day, blogging in the D'Angelo Center. Na mean?! Ha, haven't said that in a while. I noticed a trend in my posts dating back from the beginning of Words from the studly Ruben until now. My earlier posts were better, lol. They were more free and random and more detailed and were just better. Ever since the semester started I posted less and less and they've gotten more serious and drab. SO! I'm going to try and change that. Fungow, RIGHT NOW! Uncle Rubes is back, kiddos! I actually never left, I just have been preoccupied with schoolio and what not.

I can't wait to cut my hair. Why, do you ask? Because the 'Hawk is done. Sorry to say it, but it's just too long for it to stand all the way up. Epic that's what she said! Lmao.... but really, though, I've tried just about everything to keep the 'Hawk fully straight, but it always comes out a mess. It just turns out all obtuse and asymmetrical, and it doesn't look good. And I could just trim some off the top, but that wouldn't be my style. You see, most people dislike change. I, however, embrace it. I have a intricately detailed plan to revamp my hairstyle:

Step 1:

Cut off the orange hair I have from Ye Olde 'Hawk. and make it even. This will result in a short hair cut for a little while.

Step 2:

Grow that shit out, homes!

That's my master plan.... Stan. I want long hair... I'm talking as long as i can possibly grow it for. I don't know how long it will last, but i definitely want to get it as long as I can until i absolutely have to cut it, or if I change my mind =P. The plan is to cut my hair tomorrow. It's gonna be short for a little while, which i would rather not happen, but i need to be even and no longer orange to get the kinda hair I want down the line. Na'm Sayinnnnnn'!?

Sigh, tired of studying so I'm taking a break and blogging for a bit. << That should have been my first sentence. But I'm not gonna change it. Well I'm out of things to say... so I'll post another day. Laters.

Why Am I Not Happy?

So I turn 20 in almost a month. That's weird... I'm gonna be two decades old, come January 10, 2010. In my first 19 years of life I have experienced a whole bunch...good, bad, the ugly, the pretty (everyone always fails to mention "the pretty") and everything in between. I don't know if there's a such thing as a quarter life crisis, but it think that's where I'm at right about now. I'm going to Europe right after my 20th birthday. I'm in a good college with a good GPA. I've accomplished several personal goals over the last year (learn to play guitar, lose weight, get a 3.0 or better freshman year). So why the fuck am I not content? Why am I not happy right now? Well I just listed the positives of my life over the past year. Here are some of the present negatives: It's finals week, and I'm having trouble making time to study. I'm a bit of a perfectionist, so I set some steep goals for myself this semester that odds are I won't meet (3.5 GPA or higher, Rubes' Weight Loss Challenge). I mean not to say that those goals are unrealistic, because they ARE realistic, or at least they WERE when I set them, but because of me being a slacker, they're unrealistic now. Well, I can still get a 3.5 or close to a 3.5 if I absolutely ace every final. But there's no guarantee and not a high probability of that. And I wanted to weigh 160 pounds by this time, or at least be in shape if not that. I actually gained about 10 pounds since September, and 15 since April =(((.

While I'm on the subject, here's my weight trajectory. I was a really fat baby. If I had the pic available of me as a baby I would show you, but I don't. But by the time i was a toddler I was skinny, and was skinny from ages 2 to 16. Then when i was 16 I gained a ton of weight in a very short time - about 50 pounds in a little over half a year. I know, nuts. I went from about 135 pounds to 185. From 16 to 18 i kept gradually gaining weight until i peaked at 206 pounds. I had enough of being fat, so when i was 18 in my freshman year of college I started exercising and stopped eating fast food, and I lost 35 pounds over the school year. By April of '09 i weighed 170, my lowest weight in years. BUT this summer and fall I gained about 15 pounds or so, bringing me up to 185 as of today. I go to the gym sporadically. I should have made it a habit, I would have been fine, but now I dug myself into a deeper whole, so to speak. My worst nightmare is to undo the work I put in last year, so I definitely am concerned about my weight.

Anyways... I'm not content with where I am right now, for reasons I mentioned earlier. I think come Christmas time I'll be content, depending on how good my grades are this semester and how I'm doing weight-wise.

So the Eurosemester is on the horizon, and I'm pretty psyched for it. I'm gonna be rooming with my cousin, that's gonna be a lot of fun.

I'm in the new building on campus, the D'Angelo Center. It's pretty awesome... they have a big lounge on the ground floor with a study area and a place just to sit around and chill, with a fireplace and a piano. Upstairs they have a Starbucks, more tables to sit at, state of the art classrooms, and a great view. Downstairs they have a brand new cafeteria with many different types of food, as well as a game room.

Got about 10 more minutes to write.... I'm writing a new song. I have the whole musical arrangement down, but no words yet. It's way different from the other songs I wrote. My previous songs are mostly love ballads or pop songs, and usually sound better acoustically. This one, however, has a grunge-like, hard rock sound, and sounds better electric. This would be my 7th song. I was working on one before this, but production of that one kinda stalled. I have a few more minutes before my study partner comes, but I think I'll end it here. See you guys another time.

Update On My Life

Hey guys...well it's been two weeks since my last post, so I have a lot to tell you about.

The most significant thing that happened is that me and my gf broke up. Definitely not getting into detail here... but just so you know, that's the most significant thing that happened in these past two weeks.

In other news, the Thanksgiving break passed. It was a lot of fun, got to see many faces from my family who I haven't seen in a long time, and some new ones that I haven't seen. I've been teaching my sis how to play guitar, and she's gonna teach me about yoga, because I wanna get into it. My sis ordered a guitar off of musician's friend, and I'm just as eager for it to arrive as she is. Then we shall jam, on top of a mountain... and there will be flutes playing... and garlands of fresh... herbs, and we will form a family band, and tour the countryside! And you won't be invited! Lulz...jk. You will be invited. But yeah... I figured yoga will be a good way to satisfy my eagerness to become more spiritual and to get and stay in shape.

So hopefully I can pull out some A's on my finals, and get the 3.5 i want... It's possible, but just alot of hard work. I'm gonna cut this post in half, and post the other half later. Or I'll wait another two weeks, either way.

Open Mic Performance/Meditation

Y'omies...how's it going guys, I know it's been a while. Things are still going well with me. I just finished up my guitar lessons last night. I learned a lot of new stuff in just four weeks, including how to do barre chords and how to play one of my fave songs, One-Eighty by Summer by Taking Back Sunday. I feel like im getting borderline obsessive with that band, homes... they're almost the only thing I listen to, even though I've heard all of their songs many times over. Yarg. Gray. That's "yarg" backwards. I'm writing again from the library cafe.... I feel like some kind of artiste, writing in a coffee shop, lulz. So the days are dwindling away until I leave for Eurotown. It's gonna be a bittersweet goodbye, because I'll be leaving just about all my family and friends for 4 months, including my girlfriend =(. But when I come back it's gonna be epic, I'll have stories to tell about the entire city of Europe! Jk, lmao... I know Europe isn't a city.. it's a state of mind. Right now I'm picturing Alicia Keys and Jay-Z with their new remix to their hit song, called "European State Of Mind." I can only imagine how its all gonna be over there, until then I have to wait and see.

So I performed at the open mic, and people really liked my song ^_^. I just wish I was a better singer. To be continued...