Fedoras Are Awesome/Tokidoki!/Weird Sports Names

Hey guys.... Uncle Rubes is back again, like Michael Jordan in '96.... or like Jay-Z after his "retirement"... or like Brett Favre in '09,'08,'07.... lulz. LALALALA - that's me being bored. I have nothing to do, homes.... I bought a fedora from my gf's job. It's quite awesome. look:



Love that hat, mayneeeee. I feel like a combination of a mobster, a reporter from the Roaring Twenties, and Ne-Yo in that hat. The fedora... invented by the Germans in 1904.... lol. I think fedoras are just ridiculously cool looking...they can make anyone look so suave and sophisticated. It's like God's gift to the human head. I swear, a fedora can even make animals look like they're the shit.... don't believe me? Check this out:



Let's see, what did I do this weekend... I went to a halloween party/concert as the devil if he were a rock star. It was extremely ironic that the event was at a church and I came in as the devil.... I kinda expected God to smite me when i walked in the door. Here's me as the devil/rock star:



So that was fun... next day i went to the city and chilled with the girlf and y'omeslice.... you know who you are, y'omeslice. Zomg.... something pretty hilarious happened when me and my girlfriend went into Borders. My gf saw some Tokidoki toys and exclaimed "Tokidoki!" when she saw them. Just as she pointed to they toys and said "Tokidoki," an Asian man walked between us and the toys, so it looked liked she made a racist joke and called him tokidoki. I could have sworn I saw him look back, but idk if he did. That would be too freakin' hilarious if he got offended by what she said... rofl.

So Sunday was cool, then today I just had the usual super early classed and chilled out after running some errands and buying some food from C Town.... I feel like that should be a name of a rap group rather than a supermarket, haha, "C Town," sounds like an all-Crip neighborhood.

Speaking of baseball, the Yankees are in the World Series again! Wooo! We're facing the team with the 2nd most boring name in baseball: The Philadelphia Phillies -_-. I speak for many a fan when I say:



Yeah, that's right, c'mon, son! I feel like based on just their team name, the Phillies should not win. I mean, the Yankees aren't called "The New York New Yorkers." The only team with a shittier, more boring name than the Phillies are the Oakland A's. Many years ago, I kinda thought the name "Oakland A's" sounded cool, until I found out that that "A" stood for "Athletics." How boring can you be with a name for a team? I mean I understand that the name was created back in the earlier days of baseball, but I feel like it's just so bland and drab. It's pretty redundant, too. Everyone knows that if you're on the A's, you're athletic. You don't see the "Chicago Baseball Players" or the "Memphis Major Leaguers" anywhere. Or, for that matter, the "San Francisco Steroid Abusers." ZING!

Disclaimer: That was a shot mainly directed towards Barry Bonds, not the entire San Francisco Giants team.

I'll tell you a couple of names that I do love in baseball, though. My fave name ever for a baseball player is "Coco Crisp." NOT making that up, google it if u doubt it. I'm not sure what team he plays on now but he played for the Red Sox a few years ago. Another hilarious name in baseball is "Milton Bradley," you know, like the board game company.

Speaking of the Tennessee Titans, they possess the best named player in all of sports. They have a tight end whose name is "Bo Scaife." That name is amazing. Say it fast. Doesn't it sound fawesome? I know what you're thinking, and no, I didn't spell awesome wrong. Funny + Awesome = Fawesome. There's some math for you guys from Professor Rubes....specializing in a new type of math, awesometry =). Here's some more math for yall's chilluns.... 'tis half-past 12 and I need to be in class at 7:30, in a little less than 7 hours. So on that note, I'm gonna write for another hour. Sike! I'm gonna end this post...fungowwww, RIGHT NOW! Ha... That last joke probably went way over your head, like Scott Kazmir's throw to first base in Game 6 of the ALCS! SUNY ZINGhamton.... later.

Unbelievable

Last night i found something out pretty devastating. You see, I have a friend who lived in my building who is a year younger than me or so. During his teen years he got involved with the wrong crowd. From what I heard, he began selling drugs and hanging out with gangs and such... we didn't hang out much during our teen years, but whenever I did see him I said what's up and asked him how he was doing. I found out last night that he got arrested... on murder charges. The story, in a nutshell, is that my friend and his crew or whatever had beef with some other crew. So after a fight or something like that my friend and his crew went to their enemies' neighborhood. When they went into the neighborhood my friend had a gun on him, and fired a shot into the air. The bullet he fired hit a 92 year old woman, and killed her. I'm still in shock. I can't even comprehend that this really happened. He got caught and arrested, and will probably be convicted and sentenced to life in jail, or worse. I fucking grew up with this kid. I can't believe this.... this tragedy should and could have been avoided. This kid didn't have to go down the road he went, and now a matriarch of a neighborhood is gone because of his actions. It's a damn shame.... I just hope that he doesn't get the death penalty. I know he did something absolutely terrible... but i know he was a good kid. I've known him since we were little kids... its despicable what he did, I admit, and he deserves whatever sentencing he gets, but at the same time, why did it have to be him? Why the fuck of all people did he have to do something this bad? I'll be praying for him... and for the repose of the soul of the murdered woman... I'll see you guys later. Peace.

The Blog Post Formerly Known As Prince

Rawr! 'Tis I, the almighty Rubes, broadcasting live from the St. John's library once again! Man, things are looking up! I can't wait until next week, homie skillz.... so I once again got caught up with my schoolwork, I actually stayed up 'til 3ish in the morning to finish an essay >_<. But homes, I am so glad i finished it! You don't understand, two nights ago I was stressed as hell... I had a midterm to study for that next morning as well as a term paper to write due this morning. So i studied my ass off for the test... and it was kind ridiculous how easy it turned out to be. I had writer's block for a while and kept putting off my essay until the last minute...procrastination FTL... but fear not, ye brethren! I finished the essay like i said a little after 3 this morning. And I'm confident that it will get me a good grade, so better late then never. So class starts in precisely 18 minutes.... this is a good way to kill time, seeing as I have nothing else to do. Na mean?! Ha, haven't said that in a long time.

So in other news... Yankees are looking good, if I'm not mistaken they're one win away from going to the World Series =). Oh! how can I forget! I got a new piercing! Yup... I did it yesterday afternoon. It's a lip ring, check it out:



What do you think of it? I think its awesome... i wanna get a hoop ring to go around my lip, but I have to wait 3 weeks before I take this one out. The only sucky part is that I have to get used to eating with it.... it actually feels really awesome to drink cold beverages with it, but solid food is a bit of a bitch with a lip ring. Countdown to class: 11 minutes... wow, i wrote quite a bit for only 20 minutes.

So in a nutshell, my world is almost perfect. I have an awesome gf ;), I'm doing well in school, great fam and friends, what more could I ask for? Well, now that I mentioned it, I'll answer my own question. I am lacking in one area, and that, my good friends, is exercise. Rubes' Weight Loss Challenge has been practically non-existent. I still feel like I'm slowly gaining weight ='(. So if there's any one area I need to improve on in my life, it's definitely that area. I'm looking into going to the Cross Fit class on campus. Cross Fit is a high intensity, military style workout. I'm impatient when it comes to exercise, and this workout gives fast results, so I think it would pay off for me to give it a try. I'm not too scared of the workouts. I mean Idk if I can last through the whole class or not, but I figured if I can do 2 years of football, this can't be too out of reach. Well, i gotta start walking over to class, but I'm definitely glad to write to you guys... Later, Darth Vader alligator escalator fumigator terminator!

Fear

Hey dudes.... zomg... I saw Paranormal Activity a couple of nights ago. Holy shit, man.... that movie was ridiculously scary... like, truly frightening. What gets me is that its such a simple concept, yet it induces real fear in millions of people. I'm not gonna say anything revealing about the movie, but just know that you're probably gonna be spooked for days on end.

I noticed a pattern of fear... like, how fear is created. It all stems from what I like to call "fear of the unknown." It could be anything... it could be fear of death, ghosts, welfare of children, a bad neighborhood, it all stems from not being sure of something. For example, people fear death because they don't know for sure what will happen to their being after they die. Just about every religion has a belief about the afterlife, but not one person knows for sure. Simple, yet powerful stuff... every horror movie I've ever seen feeds off of fear of the unknown. I think FDR said it best, "There is nothing to fear but fear itself."

I JUST missed catching 11:11....fml. Giants play today against the Saints... Giants are undefeated and I think the Saint are too. This been a good year for sports for me.... Yankees up 2-0 in the ALCS, Giants undefeated... nice. All I need is for the Knicks to do good for a change and then I'll be set. I think I'll catch you guys another time... I got writer's block =(. Later.

LeTz Go DoDgErZzZzZZzZZ

Y'omes.... I'm so bored... like ridiculously bored. So now I'm writing this to defer my boredom. iTunes on shuffle, baseball on TV, girlf on AIM, and a cup of tea... sounds like a good night at the dorm... its just i've been cooped up all day long here... I hate being in the same place for a really long time, especially by myself. BUTTSCRATCHER?! Anyways, I didn't do much today... it was definitely a terrible day weather wise. I've been doing nothing since like, 5.... FML. I would have done something with my day but the weather has been so shitty.. it's depressing. Well on the bright side I see the girlf tomorrow =). Then I'm gonna see Paranormal Activity with her the next day! Zomg I wanna see it so bad... so many people have told me its the scariest movie they've ever seen. It's selling out literally everywhere... I need to go see it... like, now. I recently discovered a band that was gathering dust in my iTunes library.... The Fall Of Troy. They're pretty sick... I listened to a few of their songs and liked some of them a lot but never listened to all of their songs. That's what I'm doing now.

Btw, about my post title.... I'm not a Dodger fan. I just copied and pasted a stupid sounding status on facebook.. lulz. Lets take a look at some more of my fb friend's statuses that are worth mentioning:

"My vag is for the V.I.P., yo vag is for the world to see"

"I be tossin, enforcin, my style is awesome"

"I see snow flakes"

"must. finish. paper. before.....the office."

Lmao...nice.

There's not much to write about, as you can see... I can't wait until my guitar lessons start... that's gonna be awesome.... I'm writing a new song. That song is top secret btw... i shall release no details about it until it's done. Na mean?! Anyway... I'm gonna end this post.. I'm not in the writing mood i guess... I'll ttyl, homie skillz... later.

Back On My Guitar Ishhh/ I Feel Happyyyyyy!

Hey guys, Uncle Rubes here. I'm blogging right now from the academic commons of my schools library... it feels like I'm having sex in public while writing the blog around other people.... it feels awkward, yet thrilling! So I have some exciting news, homie skills (a variation of homeskillet)... I'm gonna take guitar lessons again! Woo! You see the place I took lessons this summer at, NYC Guitar School, is opening a new location in Astoria, Queens, which is appropriately named Queens Guitar School. I received an email from them saying that the first 25 students to call about Queens Guitar School get a big discount on personal or group lessons. I called in time to be one of the first 25, and I start my new lessons on the 27th! I can't wait... I've been having trouble with bar chords, so that's what I'm gonna work on with my teacher. It's one-on-one lessons that I signed up for, so I'm really looking forward to making a lot of progress. Oh also, I signed up for the NYC Guitar School's open mic! I'm gonna play my fave original song of mine and maybe another one, so I'll def be practicing. If you want to come see me perform, let me know and I'll give you all the info... that is when I find out all the info myself =X. So yeah, I'm pretty excited about my endeavors of the near future as a guitarist...

Other than that, life is good. I'm doing well in school suck it, I have a girlfriend, and even though we have our bad moments I'm still happy at the end of the day. I'm FINALLY putting some actual effort into Rubes' Weight Loss Challenge... I'm behind schedule with that but I'm getting back on track. I really have nothing to complain about, which is pretty awesome in a subtle way... I'm about as happy as a turtle on a conveyor belt.... and believe me, that's pretty fuckin' happy. =D... that's my facial expression now. ALL the time... like Jack Nicholson as The Joker. Lulz, jk on the last part, but yeah, I'm content with life. Btw... if you know where the second part of my title to this post is from, then a big high five for you, my good sir. Whoever can tell me where that's from first get's $100... or nothing... idk, but i'm leaning more towards nothing =P.

Okay enough of me rambling....well you know what, nah.... I've got time to kill, I think I'll ramble some more. Speaking of rambling... there's a slew(yes, a slew) of funny commercials for the new search engine, bing.com. Have you seen one of those commericals? You probably have, since I rarely watch TV and I've seen them. They're so random... I feel like those commercials are how my mind works, lol. Also speaking of rambling... for those of you who go or went to Cardinal Spellman HS, my former high school, within the past few years... the president of the school, Father Trevor, CANNOT say any sentence that is less than 30 words. I swear. Even when making announcements he goes off on these random tangents... it's quite hilarious. But it's cool, cuz he's from the U.K. and he has a cool accent, lol.

Yooo... que te conozco bien! I'm listening to Marc Anthony right now... Marc Anthony = God. But if that's the case, then who is J.Lo? She's Marc Anthony's wife, but God doesn't have a wife, at least according to the scriptures... Ah now John Legend's song, "Save Room" just came on.... one of the most chill dudes ever in the history of mankind, that's what John Legend is... I've been through this before on the blog. Look for my post with "Lenny Fonz The Legend" in the title. It's an old one, but what it lacks in youth it makes up for in win.

Well I'm done, like the Red Sox' season.... muahaha! Had to throw that in there... Go Yankees.... haha. Later.

Better Late Than Never/The Most Interesting Man In The World

Hey guys... long time no see... again. I'm sorry, I really am... I've just been a bookworm lately. But it's paying off! I got a B- on my first Child Psych test that i mentioned last time, which is not up to par with what I wanted, but still pretty good in general. And get this... I was having trouble with my math class, I felt like i didn't understand the material. A test was coming up. So I went to a tutoring session before the test, and studied with a good friend of mine who's in the same class as me. So I took the test and held my breath over the weekend... I got so nervous when my professor started handing out the test. He handed me my test back so that i couldn't see the grade yet, but when he handed it to me he said "Good job"...so i was like "Huh?" I was almost sure I did bad. So I turned the test over... and I see a nice big red "91%" written on it. I was ecstatic... I aced a test that I thought I might have failed! Woo! So far things are looking good for me academically... I had a sociology test on Tuesday that I'm sure I did good in, and I did my first graded speech on Wednesday. It was about Mohawks. I know what you just thought. You thought "Wait a minute Rubes, do you mean the Mohawk tribe or the Mohawk haircut?" Both, my good sir or madame. I talked about the way the hairstyle originated and also how it has been popular in recent decades in pop culture. It went well, I showed some cool Mohawk pictures as visual aids... to aid my audience... visually.

So last night I went out to dinner with my 2 fave Californians and a few other friends, including 2 other Californians who are visiting NYC this weekend. It's kinda awesome how small a world it is... you see, one of the visiting Californians is an immediate relative of one of the New York Giants! The best football team in all the land! Lulz... I'm a huge fan.. and she's related to one of my fave players. Pretty sick... and the other visiting Californian's father went to my high school way back when! That's crazy... small world, indeed.

So I want to share with you one of the most hilarious advertising campaigns ever... It's for Dos Equis. There spokesperson is "The Most Interesting Man in the World," a fictitious 50 or 60 something year old Latino man who is apparently very wealthy, suave, and of course, interesting... He's a Chuck Norris type figure, with similar legends about him, such as "It is said, he never looks up at the stars and wonders... because he already knows," and "Police often question him... just because they find him interesting." Lulz... I found a compilation of all of his Dos Equis commercials on YouTube... it's pretty funny... check it out, homes....



Rofl... epic.

I think I'll end this post with that... I'll try to post more often, but I make no guarantees folks... school is my main priority, na mean!? Ha... later.